More Poetry by Annie Moses

jigga what?

its that part of myself
i keep tucked, hidden away
from this reality of mine that I
create,
but for how long can i hide it, when
its see thru. tangible almost
when that's all i can show, anymore
its all in my head
its all in your head
well shit.
take another pull
made another fool
drool
its all a matter of steps
levels without height
or width
all will be revealed
once I can see
one I can open my eyes
"How much does life weigh?".
21 grams
dont forget me
we can meet in the place
with no darkness
where we dont struggle with words
no innuendos
pure honesty?
i wouldn't know
living is the art of dying
ask the rose.

the Worse reply to "how are you?" :

the users of Our youth
the abusers and absorbers
sucking our mind through their -profit over people- straws
marketed, naturally.

was unprepared
The First Time I've been "here"

am Prepared
The Last Time I WILL be here.

DATE: Groundhog Day stuck on 1984 mode with Czar Bush
acting as the NWO god
and people actually vote and clap for him?

Im.............
Going somewhere, no one knows.
Who would know?
And why would I believe them?

Truth is not too hard to sell
Its a be ing here experience in motion, all the tIMe
Traveling into the future..?
Mastering its design
(does it even need a design? designer)

The Truth is not too hard to sell
Pranayama style

Would you considered a Truth
if you never considered a Truth?

whatsthetimeplease?

so I was just wondering when everyone is finally gonna drop out?

2years gone by without even asking me

Its been 2 years since that thing we did, all 3 of us.
on some island, surrounded by some sea
with some mentality of "they cant ever get us!"
A costly undertaking having an absurd and ruinous outcome.
how the follies of our actions eventually brings us back down.
what were we thinking anyway? Of course we'd be caught, one way
or another. its designed like that.
I screwed those 2. fucked up their lives as I fucked mine
for no reasons but for all reasons at the time
they had no idea of what i was doing
i lead them on, lying with style
i wish i could have said sorry to them
but there was too much anger there
theres only so much time spent in the same room at the jails
and courts in a foreign country.
I did see them once, after the fact and chains came off
a blast of deserving of blame.
maybe in a few years i will approach them with...
nothing.
how to say "um yeah, so like, im sorry about fucking your life up,
i hope its working out now...by the by- how was jail?"
that's insulting, does it need to be done?

I dream about those 2 people
nightmare-ish
both chasing me or with guns
talking about me. jeering

Its their right to hate me
Its natural.
All 3 of us did IT
but I was the one that fucked up the deal
i was the one that went behind backs in search of
some different out come, and truthfully something more
Dangerous. the result took me to many different places,
many different dangers. I let them down but I got out,
was it worth it?

yes.

I dont live my life standing in the back
gotta make a move to get out

details are the many stars
its better to see the whole sky, sometimes
for what its worth: I do feel bad about that situation
girls.

I wonder if they dream about me

roofing

So, I guess I'll just stay up all night again

Sleep becomes overrated

I'll french kiss the morning

on the roof with a joint and no shoes

I'll watch the sun come up from the tree line

I'll breathe it in

this is when birds wake up

cars passing and kids walking

the morning always starts slow

nocturnal elements are now mist

and we live to see another day

&then

Ive come to realize all my doubts is because I care about the other doubts

up and down
and i stand still

Trading a mind for a better one to smash the hold that control has over us

order, masturbation, self control, reliance, defended
they will scream at you until you take noticed

for all i know..
we are all on different levels of understanding

so dont scream at me on my level.
unless, of course, youre on it with me

its all different from me to you
here take this pill
here watch this thing over here for a bit
here read these ones too

everyone is changing
the more I change, they change
All sitting here trying to run
to somewhere
better
what else is there
without these hopes?

a multi-suspect on a dose of insanity.
lately, its felt sane. with undercurrents,
a sea of psychic sludge in the way
between this and us
that first has to be reached
then crossed
then forgotten

we make it so hard to know each other
when all i want to do is to show you me
and to see you coming forward-Golden-
and when its time to watch us leave
Im not sure how I'll feel

~~``` go ahead...sssspark it
ethereal
esoteric
ether
energy
enough

so what else do you want?
kudos for your ego?
cookies for your statements?

I get it, and now what?
I figured you out the first time.
pre dick ta bull

theres:
Big ones
Small ones
Tiny ones
and ones I dont even see
All I see is the frustration
and dream -like words that
end up all in your head
and then
time to regurgitate all of what you know- without considering what you dont
know
time to spew the minutia of shit that comes out
take a look, man, take a look at that

the ones that cant educate themselves
the ones that are hung up on an ideal of whats acceptable
and whats not
and who are you to decide who is not and who is?
Sure, it helps the external life
but the inner life is completely different, aint it?

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

one day someones gonna ask you whats it all about
what would you say?

its beautiful?
its beautifully fucked with
fucked up people walking around?

before I answer
I'd ask them first, to see where they are.

you never know when youre gonna get it
the big IT.
23 grave steps so far
to the BOX, you know the End of all this
dont trust those white lights at the end of the tunnel
do trust those lights
dont
do
anything

its all a learning process
I've known better days
I've known better people
secretly knowing I know I know nothing
its taken me years to acknowledge that.

you can type out anyones life
you can say anything you want
you cant always make yourself believe in it tho

I just really want to be free

petS otni ruoy dlrow

I used to feel obligated to apologize for myself after the fact
I didn't know why, I sensed something askew- this went on for years.
jasmine and parsley for potpourri, je aphrodisiac (betta known as a mack)
there's always another question at the bottom of that beer

why stay with the camel, pyramids, and palm trees?
flip it over and stay at the hotel.
busted lips and carpet burnt knees
make reservations for the subconscious motel

because cigarettes live on after I die
dolphins will still jump
relationships will always lie
and my throat, when talking to you, will always have that lump

restortwhore my love

Now we know it all, thats for sure
FDA approved

FDA?

Tell me when you wanna take off
I need your gravity

yours?

Another pill, itll cure
the common mental deficiency

common?

after we know all of everything
Rules and laws are passe
Pills and cures are laughable
and me and you are unshacked
and jacked

lts easy to forget people
a notion from an isms motion
reminds me
only to help me forget another one
it makes no difference. its already done

its ridiculous
same thoughts everyday
by chance, something different occurs
always back to the same, tho
if you dont know
you know?
now maybe you know
bo

Im trying alright!?

our moments will reverberate into infinity
to be always remembered
cuz i know you get those chills
when i touch you.
I (..just..) cant seem to tell you these things
our conversations stick with me
in the chance meetings,
in the destiny that lied,
All I want to tell you is i love you
thats all, and it is all.
I should have gone ahead and showed
you my fucked up side
I guess I played it wrong by playing
we're all actors anyway
its breaking open the head
to get by, by some strand of honesty
I'd give you.
its jealous
its ego induced
its anger
its confusing
and now it all leading to love.
or some type of end
all things fall apart
they keep building
because we keep spending
con dish tion ing

its the price I pay
its the 1% off when I turn 65.
life is full of strange things
things you cant put into simple words
and theres no harm in trying.
trying is all we ever do

oh sure, I believe in filler and in busy work, sir. whatcha need?

"awe yes.." with a slow motion snap shot of licked lips
"it feels beautiful to see you again.."
how can you not smile at That?
indeed. 30mins before I was thinking:
Im abosofuckinglutely sick of being paranoid while driving
and now this?
well shit on a shingle!
I'll take it

best friends can become strangers
People in cages can become sages
and I dont think it will phase us
either way its not yet contagious
if you know what i mean
if you know can hear that music without
words to fuck it up with
and if you dont,
dont worry
me either

rust and trust can wash away

at the beach this morning
I stood in the back lines
watched a man walking 2 dogs stop
to talk to a woman walking 2 dogs
I dont even know if this is how life smells
but i know i saw the flag on the car waving no
with the guy next to me yelling in the phone
"girls dont like boys, girls like cars and money"
didnt this life always have some kind of
unsaid, unseen meaning?
its ok to forget about it
cuz it all leads in one direction
and im not even sure if i believe that,
today.
on the beach I jogged back to the car
feeling the heaviness in my chest from daily smoke
I said this "push yourself, some things in life are
meant to be achieved this way."
it meant something phenomenal back there
at the beach with overcast and an invisible sand bar
and dont tell me you dont have a soul- otherwise
I wouldn't want it so bad
how about this:
How about you forget about you
I'll forget about me
and we'll see where our attention goes
you can reinvent yourself to me
you can be that guy youve always wanted to be
I will accept, openly, as I offer you myself
its the trust

more hours aint worth it when free hours are jepordized

a week ago-

"Look I cant work for yall if I cant 40 or more hours a week. Part of
wanting to work here is cuz i was "promised" 40hours and I not getting that
here..."
"yeah, sure ok we can get you more hours."

today, my dayoff, with 43hours of pure labor behind me-
"hey? can you work today? someone called in, Kevi; he broke his hand."
"yeah I know he broke his hand, that's why i closed for him last night after
working all day."
"oh, so can you?"
"um... sure."
damnit! why did i pick up the phone!

(deal with it)

I always seem to get wrapped up in myself
neglect is in order. anger usually follows. its cycle,
and for this, and what I really mean to say,
was that I'm sorry, and I'm sorry for the way I can be.
its that side of darkness that I keep to myself, most of the time.
there's not enough moments
there's not enough words
to explain myself, in this state
within this mentality.
If you can teach me something new
I'd be willing to
f
a
l
l
with you for a million days, in order to understand
no one knows where the circle started
no one knows where it stopped
no one knows that maybe it never started
no one knows that maybe its you who starts and stops it

I just cant look at it anymore
if life is a mathematical chance or methodical equation of chaos
and variables of different factors and molecules hitting each other
then,
so be it.

I've watched the curve of the chin on people
I've watched that curve move up and down to lie
such movements should never be seen from such lovely people
but who the hell am i to say that?
my chin moves up and down all day

Cold comfort for change?

~in your mind
you think that I think
you've gone too far
on the contrary, good lad..
you can go over board
and I will swim with you there.

I drove home today
taking a left to avoid the site
of an accident
not today boys, not today
no need for blue lights
with high minds
(I was telling you all this)
But did you hear me?

Feelings with built-in words
told with a new feathery, mysterious language.
Have you ever met me before? in someone else?
you can lie, I dont mind

rehearsed many times before
but with you I'm gonna let it flow
a disclaimer:
I try to keep it completely honest
but some things cant come out.

foundation head

nature says its natural to feel this way
but why do i feel hurt when i know you throw my words away
I'm either torn or more open
maybe neither
its always a possibility

just turn the fucking music up
forget about it
lets fade in and out
I'll take solo glances at you
pull my hat down to talk
and watch the smoke slide around us seductively
only to disappearance into the void, without a sound
we could do that.

predictability is always a factor when I talk with people
but with you, but with you, but with you
you're so very special to me, to me, to me.
its the beginnings butterflies fucking with us
I do notice when you're not around
its the new emotional event, the climax between us
the finding out about each other
its the awkward silences after a long story is told
its kinda like... go stop go stop
did i say too much?
I cant say enough

from me to you

you can numb it up
gum it up
fuck it up

its all the same in the end

its all the same during it
its all the same in the beginning

goes back to where ever it came
and so do you and me and them
its true

we all just see it totally different